The complexity of divorce can be emotionally and mentally taxing. Parenting your children from a distance with your ex-spouse can be a difficult thing to process. Developing healthy co-parenting dynamics is important, but it can be difficult to do from afar. While we never want to be away from our children for long, we can still maintain a connection with children during long-distance parenting.
1- Embrace Technology
One of the best ways that our technological advancement has helped society is by being able to foster connections from a distance. FaceTime, Skype, social media, messaging apps, texting, and phone calls are all ways to connect with your children after a divorce. Scheduling consistent phone calls or video chats will help you maintain regular communication during long-distance parenting.
When you are not physically there, your children may feel sad about not being able to share about their day or what they are feeling. Using technology can help a child feel closer to their absent parent until they can physically see them again.
2- Plan Meaningful In-Person Visits
Whether a parent moves away or is separated for another reason, planning in-person visits if possible will foster healthy relationships. When physical meet-ups are possible, you should make time to do special activities and ensure quality time with your children.
Meaningful visits don’t need to be expensive, but they should be something memorable. Going to a movie, cooking a meal together, reading books to your children, or doing school projects together are great activities for in-person visits.
3- Manage Emotional Challenges
Long-distance parenting and the divorce process will be emotionally challenging for parents and children alike. Reassuring your child that you are not emotionally abandoning them will be essential to maintaining a healthy relationship. Both you and the child could benefit from therapy (together or separately) and talking openly about your feelings with each other.
Children will learn better emotional regulation and won’t feel shame about sharing their struggles with you. If you are open about your struggles and complex emotions you are feeling, children will feel less lonely.
4- Communicate With Your Co-Parent
Maintaining communication with your ex-spouse can be difficult, but in order for co-parenting to work you will need to have quality communication. Collaborate on a plan that will ensure the child maintains a routine and is best for the routine. Flexibility is key when long-distance parenting.
Sharing information about your child’s schedule and happenings with the other co-parent will help them feel involved and the child feels cared for. Working together with your co-parent and professionals will ensure that a child feels seen and understood.
5- Respect Everyone’s Privacy
Being long-distance from your child means that you won’t know what they are doing every minute of the day. It is normal for long-distance parents to feel left out of the loop, but parents will need to respect the time and privacy of their children. Regular communication is key, but privacy is also important as your child grows. Maintaining boundaries as a long-distance parent will help strengthen your relationship.
6- Surprise Your Kids In Fun Ways
Even if you can’t fly or drive to surprise your child, there are other ways to show them that you are paying attention. Moving away or missing milestones can be heartbreaking for all parties. Here are some ways to surprise your child while long-distance parenting.
- Write down important dates and talk to your child about them before and after they occur.
- Send handwritten letters
- Send small meaningful gifts
- Connect on social media or send your child funny videos
- Send them a daily joke
- Create long-distance traditions for holidays
- Don’t shy away from co-completing activities over video call
7- Provide Unconditional Emotional Safety
The key to parenting after divorce is to stay true to your word. A big change can cause complex emotions for a child, which they may need help working through from an adult. Both of you being vulnerable with each other will help a child feel safe with you, even from a long distance.
Even if you haven’t been emotionally available for your children before, building new parenting habits after a divorce can help strengthen your relationship with your children. They may worry that they won’t be as close to you as they were before, so developing a stronger connection through any means possible will help avoid this feeling.
Divorce Help From Kaufman, Nichols, and Kaufman
With decades of combined legal experience, KNK attorneys know how to handle complex divorce and other legal proceedings. Our legal team will show interest in each client’s situation so that we can provide the best guidance possible. KNK has passionate attorneys who want to help you settle your debates out of court if possible. Schedule your consultation today!